Dear Tomorrow

I've been ruminating on my desire to fall in love. I find that I am not at all concerned with staying in love while I get there, I just want to experience the fall.  And isn't that what it's all about, anyways? People always say, it's not where you end up, but the journey to get there that counts. Well, I plan on taking those very wise words into consideration on my new quest. It just feels odd to me, that I've never even fooled myself into falling. And why the heck not?! I'm a perfect candidate. I read all the predictable romances, listened to the sad love songs, watched all the movies (black and white to Nicholas Sparks- gods! I'm a sucker for Nicholas Sparks) and yet, I find myself the only sober person in a room filled with others drunk on love... or something love adjacent. So here's to enjoying the fall,  to planning for the future, to having my heart broken, to listening to every album released by  The Script .  Here's to going ou...

I’m not an atheist.  Can we please establish that? I feel as though, immaterial of the number of times I’ve stated this, you do not believe. But not believing, that’s why I haven’t been going to church since I’d turned eighteen. I felt as though I were a hypocrite: sitting in the pews, unconcerned with the ministry, bringing a notebook and pen or novel so as to entertain myself, disagreeing with many principles in my mind. I only went for the friends, that’s where they were. But after college, most of them had gone, and i just kept feeling worse and worse whenever I went. I’m aware that you know this is not a symptom of higher education, as they tend to preach/ warn against. You’ve been questioning my faith for as long as I can recall, your expressions and tone adding to my guilt. Why can’t I believe? Why can’t I pretend to? The way I’d understood it, as my parent, you were responsible for my immortal soul, my faith and belief in God/Jesus. I gave you eighteen years. I went to S...